This Is Why Overcoming ‘Decision Paralysis’ Is Deceptively Hard

You know you’re truly stuck when you start overanalyzing how to stop overanalyzing

I was on top of the world when my life blew up in my face. In 2023 a relationship that I was deeply passionate about abruptly came to an end. I was diagnosed with adult ADHD and OCD. And to make matters worse, I was part of a department wide lay off.

Suddenly I was simultaneously overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I needed to do, and terrified of making the wrong decision. I found myself overanalyzing everyday decisions including limited to how I should structure my day without the routine of work, what to prioritize and, ironically, how to stop overanalyzing.

As each day passed, my sense of overwhelm not only grew, but I also became increasingly convinced that there was nothing I could do to change the situation. The further I sank into these feelings the more frustrated and wary I became of making any decision.

I grew so tired of hearing my own thoughts that I didn’t care what happened, as long as I didn’t have to think.

In these instances, the usual advice for getting unstuck goes something like this:

• Just start
• Try exercising
• Go on vacation
• Don’t overthink it
• Think positive
• Start with the smallest/easiest/hardest task
• Try the pomodoro technique

So the question is, if these methods are so intuitive, well known and simple why don’t they work?

First of all, getting unstuck means breaking free of decision paralysis–which is the inability to make a decision due to fear of making the wrong choice. It can occur when presented with too many choices that are difficult to compare. It can be a temporary experience when you’re stressed, or it may be an ongoing source of frustration.

Secondly, decision paralysis is usually the byproduct of multiple factors. Thirdly, getting out of decision paralysis isn’t so much about committing to a choice as it is about dealing the anxiety that comes from potentially failing, and the pressure of living up to expectations.

So how do we actually reduce or eliminate or reduce decision paralysis? First, we have to be able to identify it and the most obvious indicators come from the fear of missing out on experiences that others are having and the fear of missing out on better options.

FOMO stems from anxiety about missing rewarding experiences that others seem to have, often exacerbated by social media. This fear has two facets: Aspirational FOMO, where one perceives others’ experiences as superior due to skewed information, and Herd FOMO, driven by a desire to be included in shared activities. This fear leads to a persistent sense of inadequacy and a relentless pursuit of experiences to bridge the perceived gap between one’s reality and desires.

On the other hand, FOBO (fear of better options) is rooted in the anxiety of potentially better choices existing, making it difficult to commit to a decision. This fear is often fueled by an abundance of options, leading to a cycle of indecision and prolonged uncertainty.

When FOMO and FOBO combine, they culminate in decision paralysis, where the compulsion to seize every opportunity and the hesitation to commit due to possible better choices result in a paralyzing inability to make decisions. This is characterized by being pulled in different directions, unable to settle on any option, and thus leading to a state of inaction and mental exhaustion. This is called cognitive fatigue.

Which is a state we enter after we have exhausted our cognitive resources. A state where we experience difficulty concentrating, staying focused, being productive and, most of all, making decisions.

And it’s almost always a signal from your brain that you are overwhelmed. But identifying when we’re experiencing decision paralysis is only one half of the problem. The second half is actively reducing or eliminating it.

Venture Capitalist and writer Patrick J. McGinnis provides a simple explanation of how FOMO and FOBO create decision paralysis and cognitive fatigue in his Ted talk.

“We live in a world of overwhelming choice. Even decisions that used to be simple, like choosing a restaurant or making everyday purchases, are now fraught with overanalysis. Technology has only made the issue more pronounced. If you want to buy a pair of white shoelaces online, you have to sort through thousands of items and read through hundreds of reviews. That’s an astounding amount of information to process to just buy two pieces of string that cost less than your morning latte.”

What he’s describing is information overload which is a state of being overwhelmed by the amount of data presented for one’s attention or processing. The concern about information overload began pretty much as soon as social media websites became popular, but 24-hour news cycle and the internet itself have been a long term contributor to information overload.

A close but distinct subset of information overload is choice overload.

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and FOBO (Fear of a Better Option) frequently stem from information and choice overload. When individuals are bombarded with too much information or too many choices, it becomes challenging to process all the data effectively. This overload can lead to a sense of missing out on key information or better opportunities, hence FOMO and FOBO. The constant bombardment of choices and information in today’s digital world intensifies these feelings, making it difficult for individuals to make decisions confidently, ultimately contributing to decision paralysis.

Psychologist Barry Schwartz in his own famous Ted Talk, explained how the abundance of choice can actually lead to greater dissatisfaction and unhappiness. A meta-analysis conducted in 2015, and incorporating 99 studies, took a look at the impact of large assortments on consumer decision-making, focusing on the phenomenon of choice overload (decisions paralysis).

This study identified four key factors that influence choice overload:

• Choice Set Complexity: Refers to how complicated and varied the options within a choice set are. A more complex choice set has many options with varying attributes, making it harder to compare and evaluate them. Furthermore, having too many potentially good options can lead to anxiety about missing out on the best one as well make it harder to commit to any one one option.
• Decision Task Difficulty: This term describes the inherent challenge involved in making a decision. Difficult decision tasks often involve intricate details, require extensive analysis, or have significant consequences. This can evoke the fear of making a wrong or suboptimal choice leading to indecisiveness as well as assessing the potential of missing out on better opportunities.
• Preference Uncertainty: It refers to the level of uncertainty an individual has about their preferences or what they want in a given decision. High preference uncertainty makes it harder to choose because the individual is unsure about what they are looking for. This can lead to fearing missing out on something you have yet to identify and make it harder to settle on an option.
• Decision Goals: These are the objectives or outcomes that an individual aims to achieve with a decision. Decision goals can vary in nature and complexity, influencing the decision-making process and the eventual choice made. Undefined or conflicting decision goals can lead to the pursuit of multiple goals simultaneously out of a fear of missing out on any one option.

Now that we understand the factors that contribute to to decision paralysis we can start confronting and dealing with it over a period of five weeks.

Dealing With Information Overload

To start reducing information overload, you will have to deliberately limit the amount of information you consume, especially unnecessary or unhelpful data. This step is about being selective with the media and information sources you engage with, to reduce information overload and enhance decision-making clarity. However, thanks to the gamification of technology, the emphasis on intermittent positive reinforcement and the drive for social approval.

The antidote for information overload and addictiveness of technology is digital minimalism. The term comes from Cal Newport and his book of the same name, and is defined as:

“A philosophy of technology use in which you focus your online time on a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly support things you value, and then happily miss out on everything else.”

Over the next Five weeks reduce or eliminate the risk of information overload by putting this philosophy into practice.

Getting Started – Start with a Detox and Define Technology Rules

The best way to get started with your social media detox is by reading Cal Newport’s book “Digital Minimalism”. It includes a digital declutter exercise that I highly recommend. You can also find it here.

Committing To What Matters –Reducing And Preventing Choice Overload

While you’re on your break from social media and unhelpful technology it’s also a good idea to start
To reduce choice overload we are going to use two decision making techniques: one to help you prioritize and the other to be confident in what we prioritize.

Categorize Tasks Using the Eisenhower Matrix

Divide tasks into four categories: urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not important, and neither urgent nor important. Limit the number of options in each category. Focus on what’s essential to reduce complexity.

Define Your Confidence Level

Establish a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 represents the lowest confidence in a decision and 10 is the highest. Assign a rating based on your confidence level for every decision you need to make. Disregard options 5 and 7. Treat any decision with a score of 6 to indicate that you might need more clarity or information. Prioritize decisions that score 8 or above. These are the choices you’re most confident about and are more likely to align with your goals.

Prioritize and Act

Focus on tasks in the ‘urgent and important’ quadrant first, then move to ‘important but not urgent’. Delegate or eliminate the rest.

Confronting The Root Cause –Reducing And Preventing FOMO And FOBO

Begin by understanding that FOMO and FOBO often stem from a lack of clear personal goals and vision. By defining your aspirations and what truly matters to you, you can make decisions that resonate with your core values, reducing the impact of external influences that often lead to FOMO and FOBO.

1. Define Your Primary Aim: Reflect on your core values, ideal lifestyle, the role of people in your life, your desired reputation, and your growth aspirations.
2. Set Your Strategic Objective: Translate your personal vision into your professional life. Define the financial goals, and career/business type that align with your Primary Aim.
3. Develop Specific Standards: Create tangible metrics and timelines for your personal and professional life.

Our world is getting more technology and information driven every second, and the competition for our attention has become cutthroat. Instead of allowing us to make more informed and effective decision we are are increasing finding the opposite to be true. As a creator social media is such a big part of my life it’s hard to imagine completely given up, but the negative effect it has on my wellbeing and productivity is undeniable.

The goal here isn’t to be a luddite but to be intentional about the technologies we use and the information that we consume. It is high time we started treating technology and information as a diet and in my humble opinion digital minimalism is the movement we need.